Been a really difficult week so far. Am switching from the Citalopram to the Prozac so I have had to stop one and start the other on a really low dose so that my stomach will accomodate the new medicine without giving me grief. Unfortunately this means that I am now only on a really low dose of anti-depressant and therefore am finding myself very depressed and down and feeling like crying all the time.
Work is still a complete nightmare. The work I am doing is unexciting and not very technical so isn't using my skills very much at all and they are still doing nothing to acknowledge my illness or help me cope with it in the work situation. It's really getting me down now as I just can't cope with the fatigue from the travelling and the pain from having a chair that doesn't support my body adequately.
Then I got home last night, exhausted and in terrible pain in my knees, ankle, back, all along my arms.... and basically most of my body!!! And all I hear all evening from my OH is how tired he is and his knees ache! I know he has been busy all day driving to and doing a concert then coming back and teaching in the afternoon and I know his knees ache because he is overweight but truly he has no idea what tiredness is in comparison to the exhaustion I suffer with the fibro and pain is nasty but try amplifying that so it is in every part of your body all at once then you can complain about it! He has no idea, and even more frustrating is that he doesn't want to have any idea or try to understand in the slightest. It is so much easier if he doesn't have to acknowledge how difficult things are for me and how much I am suffering as then he doesn't have to think about how much it might impact our future. If he listens it means he has to care and he would rather stay remote so that he doesn't get anxious. I've tried and tried to explain but you can tell he is deliberately switching off every time I broach the subject, he fiddles with facebook on his phone, he does anything he can but listen to me.
And yesterday I could tell I was also ovulating as I had pelvic pain all day, so this morning I have woken up and felt nauseous, temperature was spiking, headache and generally feeling crap so now it all starts again, 2 weeks of this until my period is over and then hopefully things will ease up again for a bit until the next month! Every month it exacerbates everything, as if we don't suffer enough with the fibro as it is! Have stayed home to work here as I couldn't face the train when feeling so crap.
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