Yesterday I had to give in and use my walking stick going round the supermarket. After doing 30mins driving and walking around a couple of clothes shops my ankle was giving me loads of pain and my hips, knees and back were aching badly. The sinus tarsi in my ankle causes a pain that feels like hot oil has been poured inside my ankle joint so it is burning as well as painful.
I am embarrassed using the stick, after all I am only 36 and in my mind I feel about 26, unfortunately physically my body feels about 86! In fact, there are many 86 year olds more sprightly than me! My Nan definitely was, she's now 96 and not so sprightly but I dread to think what sort of a state I will be in at 96, or 86 for that matter.
This condition does get you down a lot and looking into the future is something to be avoided as it is a depressing, daunting thing to realize things will not get better and most probably will actually get worse. To think I could live another 50 years like this is unbearable! To live every day is a fight, just to get up is a fight let alone do a day at work and you just don't have the energy for that fight because the Fibro has also robbed you of all energy. So to expect to encounter that fight every day for another 50 years is exhausting!
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